Año Nuevo desde Santa Fe

A couple of years ago my grandparents gave our families a card that said they were setting aside money for us to do something together for Christmas 2012. We had all been on an Alaskan cruise together in the summer of 2010 and it was so much fun. Granted, there are over 20 of us, so it is hard to get everyone together. Everyone talked for a long time trying to decide what we could do together...the beach was too far for most people to travel to; a cruise would require lots of people to buy plane tickets, and with this many people we were having trouble figuring out a time when everyone could get off work to meet up. At one point, it almost seemed like we probably weren't going to get around to going. However, when I went to Chile, I had so much time on my hands and it got me thinking...we should do this. So, I started thinking of places we could go, what would be accessible to most people, and what was realistically possible for our family of 24.

Believe me, I had so much time on my hands abroad compared to what free time I have in the states, which is basically none. I started talking to my aunts and uncles and then my grandparents about what we could do. I found a house in Santa Fe and almost a year later, here we are at the house in Santa Fe. My granddad and I visited the house in Santa Fe and eventually found a time where everyone could come for some if not all of the time.

I am so thankful for all of my family and their willingness to help out in cooking, cleaning, driving, and just being together for this trip. I realize that not everyone has a big family and this side of my family is much smaller than the other, but it is still large. Everyone has been so great about helping out with anything and everything involved in the trip. The house is big enough where everyone can get away and do their own thing, but has room for us to all sit together at the table and eat together...and play endless games of dominoes and apples to apples.

I'm sure those of you who have been reading my blog over the years know how much I love my grandparents. All of them are my cuties and so near and dear to my heart. My grandparents have all been wanting everyone to be together for the holidays and for both sides of my family that happened this year. I will be the first one to admit that being with that many people, some who you haven't seen in years, is challenging--but every part of these gatherings has been worth it. I really would do anything for my grandparents, and I'm pretty sure all of them know that--they have always gone to the length for all of my family. My grandmother was telling us last night how her and my granddad had been married for 54 years and counting. That's almost triple my age--and believe me, they are still in love. It's amazing to see the fruits of my Granddad and Grandmother and Noni and Papoo. All of the people in my family are so valuable to me and I think that all too often I forget to count how big of a blessing they are in my life.

Tonight we are ringing the New Year in with steak, potatoes, and of course champagne.

When I look back on 2012, I think of it as a year of growth. Totally nostalgic right? Whatever. It really was. I left everything I knew and lived in another country, which is always something I knew that I would do but never expected it to come so quickly. I survived literally the most difficult academic semester of my career. Really, survive is the only way to describe it--my classes were difficult, I was sick, and I had so much to do with my jobs and internships. I'm glad the Mayans weren't right, but I am sure glad 2012 is over, it isn't a year I would want to put on repeat--growing isn't always easy; I guess that's why they call them growing pains right?

Before I left Austin, I lost my job at the restaurant that I have worked at since I moved to Austin. The pub where I served, bartended, had friends, and made a work family closed down yesterday. It definitely dampened my spirits for a few days. Working at the pub was my main source of income and has pretty much paid for my living expenses (and then some) in college. I was planning on going back to Austin on Wednesday to work full-time at the pub before school started like I always do, but now obviously there isn't a job to go back to. I also graduate in May so there isn't really time for me to job hunt, train, and get accustomed to working in a new place with a full-time school and intern schedule. I didn't tell my parents until I got home Christmas Eve and then my mom just told me not to worry about it, so I'm not. I am definitely disappointed to not be working with the same people--I really have worked with them for a long time and loved the pub. I know that there are other things out there and it's definitely not the be all end all. God has really shown me all the things that I have to be thankful for and all of the people I have supporting me over the Christmas break.

I know that people always say how thankful they are for their health but I really am thankful for mine at this point. I have been in weather that makes me sick for almost a week now and have yet to get sick--knock on wood. I have a good time with my family but my health often makes it very hard for me to come home.

These are definitely just my thoughts for the moment (I'm really tired of writing articles) and hopefully I can work on my first post of 2013 soon.

Happy New Year.

That moment.

This past Friday I made it through one of the most physically and mentally challenging semesters of my entire career. I had to put many of my relationships on hold along with blogging, Facebook, phone calls (except to my mom), ect. because it was all too much. During this semester I learned so much about myself, my family, my friends, and life in general. What a cliché statement, right? I don't even have any idea how to start over again really--not with life, just with writing. I write for different magazines, blogs, and publications but it seems that I have lost the ability to write about things that I want to write about because I am always directed as to what I should be writing. It's been great--I enjoy writing and having someone to focus my work for me with topics and such but I guess there has just come a point where it has just taken so much out of me.

I am a very slow writer....very slow. This semester my processing has slowed down so much that it takes me about five times as long to write anything on top of my already slow writing, and then I always end up frustrated because what I have written no longer looks like my own. So, that's currently what I'm in the process of doing--trying to write something that looks familiar to me.

For a long time, when I was younger, I wrote poetry--at the time, that was familiar. There was a point in my life where I grew out of writing poetry. Yes, I can still pen a poem. Would it be any good? No, I don't think so. Good writing comes about from using a sign system that people are able to decode and then draw meaning from. I also think that it is drawn from the heart or even more, from the soul. Now THAT sounds mushy. But really, if your heart's not in it..then what is?

Sometimes I wonder why I went to school to major in English Literature. I mean really--that had been decided by my senior year of high school and has never changed. After looking back on the last two-and-a-half years I think I am beginning to understand what I have learned. My education at St. Ed's in EngL has taught me to look beyond the words of a text and then even beyond the author to try and understand why--which is something I will, even as I try, never know.

When I look back at my blog there are times when I was so inspired to write, and I think somewhere along the way I lost my voice. Believe me, there are words that I have--it just takes me time to put them together coherently. I can't promise that I will continue to blog frequently--or even at all, but what I can tell you is that I am finding my voice. Thank god for my mom who has listened to me talk on the phone everyday for the last three months because I obviously don't have any problems speaking.....