As this year comes to a close, there are many things that I look back and begin to reflect on. Without a doubt, over 90% of these life events have something to do with the kids I have taught this year and the ridiculous, funny, crazy, frustrating, and amazing things that they do each day. I spend more time with my kids than I do anyone else. My classroom has been through some ups and downs and I have had many conversations with myself where I try and reason through why I am a teacher--without a doubt the reason is always because my kids inspire me each day to keep teaching and being in a classroom where students grow and struggle is what makes me happy. I have watched students overcome vast academic, economic, social, and personal barriers this year. My students are so brilliant and their talents are endless. I could go on and on about everything that has happened this year, but I will save that for the day that this semester has truly come to a close and I can sit down and accurately reflect on what TFA refers to as "transformational change."
In the meantime, I write this post to commend my students for one of the many amazing things that they have accomplished this year. Our school has a wonderful art program headed by a teacher who is relentlessly pushing her kids to dream big and use their artistic abilities to do great things. Recently the art program participated in the Vans Custom Culture Contest where students are given four pairs of white shoes to design and submit. Out of 2,000 participating schools, Raymondville High School was selected as one of the 50 semi-finalist. For the next few days, people cast their votes for which high schools will be selected to be in the top 5--the winners chosen will be going to NY. You can vote for the kids shoes here:
Last week, for the second time in my life, I booked a flight to Chile. Ever since I left my Chilean family and the city on the hill, I have had a very strong desire to return. It does not feel like two years since I have studied abroad, but then I think about all of the things that have happened in my life since I came home. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to go back and spend time in the country that taught me so much about myself. On this trip I will also be going to Peru. I am looking forward to everything that this summer has to offer.
Meanwhile, March Madness is taking up all of the spare time that I don't actually have. I decided to use one of my whiteboards to draw a gigantic bracket for the tournament. Having the bracket has been fun and a good amount of my kids are really into the games. I think it's always nice to have something outside of school that I can connect with my kids about. March Madness is my favorite time of the year.
In other news, my dad is doing this really cool thing for Lent and blogging every single day. He's a trooper. You can check his blog out here. He and my mom have also taken up the art of the "selfie". My parents have always been tech savy but they just started taking pictures of themselves on their adventures (that they basically go on all of the time now that they are loners) and it's great. Granted, I don't expect them to post pictures for selfie Sunday anytime soon.
Maybe I'll take a cue from my dad and try and get better about blogging...
The second semester of school has started off to be much more hectic than the first. I remember in high school that when spring came, I was never in school and it was constantly a mass pile of make-up work--now I understand what make-up, catch up, and trying to never fall behind looks like from the other side of the desk. Maybe because it is my first year, I feel like there will never be a time where I am completely "caught up" on all of my work, or maybe this is just how life works. I'm not entirely overwhelmed by the amount of paperwork that never ceases, but the INTJ in me is always trying to figure out how to work more efficiently. I don't want to get to the end of my life, look back, and realize that all I did was work. Yes, work makes me very happy--and even more so, teaching is so much more to me than work, it is my life. But I am in a constant search to find the divide between my teaching and my home life--right now I'm not sure if there is or ever will be a clear separation of the two.
Everyday in the classroom presents an incredible challenge and at this point I think I have learned as much about patience as my students have learned about English. Teaching is an opportunity to motivate and inspire--I've never felt more alive in the world yet dead from exhaustion all in the same moment. Having a classroom, being responsible for the education of a child, multi-managing every part of a day--so much goes into this job. In high school, and middle school, I never knew exactly why I loved and respected my teachers so much. Sure they were always there for me and were fun to learn from, but a part of me never knew how much they were doing for me and my friends that I didn't know about--but the relentless personality shined through in everything that my teachers did. Their tenacity and love for us and their jobs and disciplines--that is what made them great. I hope to measure up to be half as great as my teachers and professors were--to be frank, the bar is set quite high. I think of some of the best qualities that my teachers had that I am always working to incorporate into my classroom:
I want my students to feel like my classroom is a place where deep discussions can happen--everyone has a voice and a valid opinion.
When my students write an essay that merits an "A", I want them to feel like they should frame it--because they worked that hard and drafted that much.
My door--I hope my students always feel like my door is something that is open and that they can walk through to discuss their hopes, dreams, troubles, and aspirations.
I hope that when my students leave in June that they can feel like they enjoy reading and writing. Whether it be magazines, journaling, articles, young adult books--I just want my students to find something about literacy that they enjoy and will use everyday.
Right. So this is just a piece of my classroom and my thoughts about school. I guess I felt compelled to write my thoughts down because my classroom and my students are always on my mind in one way or another. Sometimes I wonder if there is a switch to like turn my thoughts about school off and then I realize that it's okay if there isn't. As long as I am helping my students learn and I am happy in what I'm doing, I will let my mind work through generating ideas and solving problems.
We started reading Into the Wild in my AP class and I think my students are really enjoying the book. I remember reading the book on my own in high school and of course wanted to leave all of my possessions, take a backpack, and start hiking across the US (I still do...not much has changed). I want my students to get excited about literature (especially non-fiction literature) and be inspired to think past the first reading. We have read other novels in my classroom, but this is the first time that I have really felt that my students are genuinely digging as far as they can into the novel and how it makes them think about their lives. Watching the light come on for my kids is a great experience--you should check out the book, the movie, or both.
I find out in a couple of weeks if I will be returning to Houston Institute to work this summer. Institute, outside of Chile, is my favorite place to be in the world (at least it was last summer). There is something about the environment and the people that make a challenging situation very rewarding and extremely purposeful. I don't know how to describe it--life at Institute is captivating.
I hope on this Sunday your hours are enjoyable and your day fulfilling.
Beyonce's new album should be listened to not song by song and in between trips to the grocery store. The set of songs and the way that she created her masterpiece is a story and should be sat down with and listened to like you read a book--giving it thought and time. The self-titled album pulls on your heart strings, makes you want to dance, love your people for who they are, and just down right cry--it's what my professor George would like to call a catharsis. That is exactly what happened to me while listening to this album--I had a catharsis, an emotional outpouring.
She goes from singing about her love with Jay-Z, to crashing down the anti-feminist barrier, to losing a child, and then her love for Blue--and so much more. My favorite song on the album is constantly changing and at the moment, the song I am in love with is "Superpower." I love this song so much more because of the video. Beyonce didn't leave fans trying to visualize what each song meant--she just created a video for each song, and "Superpower", like all of the other videos, is just flat out brilliance. Beyonce brings in all of her people to the video--her people people. I have such a thing for being around your people. I love my people and they are my rock. When I watch this video, all I can think about is my people.
Honestly, I have so much to say about this album but I'm not entirely sure I have processed enough of it into words. I don't remember ever being obsessed with an album like this before--song, yes, maybe...but album...no, never. Beyonce has redefined how my heart responds to music--mainly because she shattered it into a million pieces with "Heaven" and then picked it right back up and put it together with "Blue".
I have started a Christmas countdown board in my classroom. I know that creating a bulletin board is a small thing (really it's kind of tedious and helps me understand why it is considered a "first year teacher thing") but I love countdowns. I really appreciate this countdown because there are many things that I am looking forward to that will happen around day one--I will be with my family, my first semester of teaching will be complete, my project PaCE observations will be done (they are looming over my head), etc. I am looking forward to day one but I'm not wishing my days away either.
This week was freezing--I am not ready for Texas Panhandle weather. Cold weather is one of my least favorite parts about winter--that and the days getting darker sooner. I expected it to get somewhat cold in the Valley, but I'm tired of thirty degree weather. I don't do well with the cold and never have. There is just something about warm weather and the sun that makes me smile.
On Friday, I decided to have my kids write a letter to Santa as a journal assignment. In 11th grade, students are working on persuasive writing. I know it might seem rather silly, but I had them write a letter persuading Santa to take them off of the naughty list. The letters that I received have kept me laughing and my kids really seemed to enjoy the assignment. Obviously a letter to Santa isn't the most rigorous writing I could assign, but my students wrote and were persuasive--celebrate the small things.
To start this post I would first like to say thank you to all those who have sent my kids letters. We read them in class all of the time and many of them are posted on my walls (I will post a picture soon). The response that I have received from all of my readers exceeded my expectations and I couldn't be more grateful.
Yesterday I finished teaching my first six weeks of high school English. I laugh to myself when I reflect on the trials and successes that have happened in my classroom in this short span of time.
As I continue this post, I write today knowing that tomorrow will be the beginning of the third six weeks (it's amazing how time can fly when trying to draft a blog post). What a year it has been. I have learned so much about life, love, and what it means to really be committed to someone and something.
Accepting my spot in the corps and coming to the Valley was never a question in my mind. I knew what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go. I think the only way to really explain it is just to say...I just knew.
Teaching 11th graders has been such a rewarding experience. Everyday is a new adventure. There is always something to laugh at and something new to learn. Honestly, I could talk about my kids all day long. They are the most incredible people in the entire world. When I crafted my vision for my classroom at the beginning of the year, I had no idea how much it would actually manifest in my classroom. If you need to know the definition of a dreamer, just come and talk to any one of my 120 juniors--believe me, they know.
Whoever the "they" is, they say that your first year of teaching is sometimes just a matter of surviving. Maybe I just lucked out...but they are wrong. My first year of teaching is more about living than surviving. It has been a journey that is far from the road of "I think I want to quit my job every time I drive to work." Don't get me wrong, teaching is hard and emotional--and there are those days where I just want to scream...so I do, but I love it. Before I started in August, I was also hired to coach. Coaching has been such an amazing opportunity where I am able to get to know my kids on a different level. I am always busy (which is nice) and I am able to work with my kids outside of the classroom. I coach the 7th grade B team for basketball and going from the high school to the middle school everyday is eventful to say the least. Middle school girls have such a different perspective on life...(yes, let's just put it that way). I love my kids across the board--and maybe coaching your first year isn't for everyone, but it definitely is for me.
I remember moving to Austin and only knowing a handful of people in the city (and no one at school). Moving to a place where I know no one is a pretty reoccurring event in my life. Starting my life in the Valley and finding my people has definitely been the biggest challenge I have faced. When life changes, it is so important to know who the people are that are always on your team. The people that have always and will always be on my team are fourteen hours away. Fostering relationships is always a new experience and having people on my team is always a very crucial part of my well-being (isn't it for everyone though?). It has definitely taken me a bit to find my people, but the most loving and caring people have come into my life. Each day I am thankful for these relationships and how much love each person brings to the table.
Now, will I teach for the rest of my life? Will I stay in the Valley after my time in the corps has ended? These are both big questions that I work on answering everyday. Honestly though, I am in no rush and I kind of just want to let life happen. I don't have any desire to stop teaching or leave Raymondville. For right now, I am living not surviving--I am breathing not gasping for air--and as always...I am dreaming.
When I made the decision to join Teach For America, and even more when I decided that the Rio Grande Valley was the absolute number one place that I wanted to be while on this adventure, I knew that I was taking my first step into a part of my life that I had been anxiously awaiting for a very long time. After I returned from Chile, I had a very different sense of what I actually "needed" to survive throughout each day; I had a completely different outlook on relationships and what love looked like; I had a changed mindset about other cultures and races; I had gained a new sense of independence and adventure; and, I was incredibly devastated. This is probably the first time I have openly written about it, so why, you may ask, was I devastated? I was happy to return and see my family and friends but I had the absolute worst time readjusting to my life in the US. There were too many things that I felt like I need to have, time moved too quickly, people demanded too much, and I missed the instant gratification that came from learning something entirely organic about another culture each day (this was heavily based on the fact that I was constantly learning Spanish). So yes, as excited as I was to move back home, it completely broke me. I stayed pretty broken for most of the year--and it was awful. Don't get me wrong, there were great things about my senior year of college, but it was very very emotionally exhausting and difficult. I thank God each day that I have such good people who constantly helped me out while I continuously processed all of my reverse culture shock. I'm not sure at what point I knew, but soon I realized that I had to go back to simplicity. How do you even do that right? Well, for me, it was going rural. It was moving to a culture in the US that identified with the one I experienced in Chile--but still remained an adventure in and of itself. It's very hard to tell people exactly "what" Raymondville is like, and so many people have so many different opinions about what it is like to live here. But this video helped me really understand the town which I have come to call home.
This place is nothing like my home, except for the fact that it is a rural, small, sports-loving town. Now, getting down to my kids.
When I was in high school my biggest worry was making a B, not being able to CLEP a college exam, or not getting into the college I wanted to attend. It is impossible for me to try and even remotely understand what my kids face each day at home, in school, and for their future. But what I do know is that they can succeed at levels just as high as any other students in the state. Where does that start? Success is rooted in what my students experience at home, at school, in the community, within the government, within themselves.
Any veteran teacher knows that building a classroom is an insanely expensive and difficult thing to do and takes lots of time. Many of us are young 20-somethings fresh out of college who can't rub two pennies together--thank goodness I have amazing parents who help me rub pennies. So yes, anything you want to donate to our classrooms is always welcome. I have gotten the most amazing supplies from peoples' used or unwanted school supplies from previous years. However, putting all of the material aside, what can you really do for our kids that may end up changing their lives forever? Believe in them. Do not tell my kids that they cannot go to college because they aren't smart enough, don't have the money, actually....just don't ever tell them that they can't, for any reason. Tell them that they can do it. Tell them about your life and how you were able to push through your struggles. Tell them about how amazing life is even when it doesn't seem like it in the moment. Tell them you are here for them. And most importantly, tell them that you believe in them.
I know that many of you haven't had a conversation with me in a very long time and just keep up with my life on here. Others of you I communicate with all of the time. Whichever it may be, something brought you to my blog--something brought you to this post and I want to ask you to do something (which isn't something I ever really like to do...besides like watching videos and listening to songs and such). I want you to write my kids a letter. Yes, the snail mail kind (or the email kind I guess). I know that you don't know my kids from Adam (right now neither do I) but you have to care about the future, right? The future is my kids. Write to them and tell them that you are cheering for them--write to them and tell them that you are on their team. Let them know how you succeeded in life and overcame your struggles. Tell them that they can go to college. Explain to them that they were made to do great things. Really, write anything that you believe will inspire my kids to dream big, challenge themselves to go beyond mediocrity, always find the silver lining, and let them know that there are people out there in the world that care about them. Even if it's just one sentence, let these kids know that you believe in them.
Leigh Anne Winger
12712 State Hwy 186 W
Raymondville TX, 78580
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